I like proposals, so I opened it. And what a proposal it was.
I'm emailing you to find out if you'd be interested in reviewing one of our new silicone female toys from [awesome product name combining the word "lady" and the last four letters of the other important word beginning with "o"].com on your blog.
My idea is this: I can send you a free [particular pleasure-inducing product] or comparable toy (you can Google it), and in exchange, you'd just write a review giving your honest thoughts about the toy, and of course somewhere in the article, link to our website or Amazon listings of the toys.Ooh-la-la. If it weren't as soon as tonight that I'm heading out of here again, a quick 48 hours after getting my first of two arrivals zone scene of the summer, I'd totally take the proposer up on his offer – only to provide me with the suggested "opportunity to write interesting content for [my] site," naturally.
Not that I need to actually try a new silicone female toy (let's just call it an "NSFT" for short) in order to come up with "interesting content" for my site. Just the mere idea of reviewing it brought to mind some potential slogans meant to appeal to our kind of audience. How about:
- With moments of bliss like this, you won't even care whether sex leads to baby.
- The transvag invader leaving you unfulfilled and unsatisfied? At your next appointment, reach instead for the NSFT!
- Nothing will get that big fat negative off your mind faster than a big fat something else.
- Hubby: ovulation time. NSFT: anytime.
- Two-week wait getting you down? Try a two-minute pick-me-up!
So over to you, bloggie friends. What other slogans do you propose? Winner gets a forward of the original email to respond to for the chance to receive her very own NSFT and thus to create some really truly "interesting content."
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| borrowed ethically from source |
How about
ReplyDelete'while all your mummy friends are run off their feet, put your unencumbered ones up and revel in some alone time with the NSFT'
'Ladies, why not bribe your lady bits to start cooperating, buy them toys!'
hilarious!!! i love the slogans you came up with! too funny!
ReplyDeleteHehe, what a proposal! Your slogans made me giggle, you could totally go for it. That would be one review they would never forget ;-)
ReplyDeleteOh lordy, this is hilarious!! As are your slogans - man, you a way with words. I nearly fell off my chair! Thanks for the laugh :)
ReplyDeleteHope you had a great stopover and safe travels!
I think you should make someecards out of these slogans. It would be fantastic.
ReplyDelete*Tea meet keyboard moment*
ReplyDeleteI never get emails that fun. I am jealous.
Love your slogans! Thanks for the giggles :)
ReplyDelete"Tired of feeling like a science experiment? Bring carnal fun back with the NSFT!"
ReplyDeleteYou crack me up. Safe travels!
HA. I DIE.
ReplyDelete"For a more creative way to check your cervical mucus".
"Batteries: Better than Babies".
Happy packing, lady!
I just read your slogans to my husband. He is not nearly amused as I am. Unfortunately I rely on him for funny quips, so I may have to think on this one for a while.
ReplyDeleteHave a(nother) safe trip!
That is hilarious. As if this group is under sexed!
ReplyDelete"It's less messy and doesn't fart afterwards"
Bwahahaha!
ReplyDeleteWho says husbands get all the fun? Grab the NSFT and you too can enjoy a little "alone time."
Okay, maybe that was a tad bit over the top.
What a proposal! Maybe you should counter-propose that they pay you (in cash, not toys) for some of those slogans! Too funny.
ReplyDeleteDuring ivf, after my transfer, I was sent home with discharge instructions that said, "Do not put ANYTHING in your vagina, and no orgasms.no excercise"
ReplyDeleteSo basically all I could do was eat and breathe! Worst two weeks ever! Made me want a nsft real bad ;)
Why don't I get emails like this? The last one was from someone saying how they were sure as a "Mommy and Pregnancy blog" I'd be interested in their [piece of shit product].
ReplyDeleteMy slogan:
"Reduce the need for KY Jelly in the scan room, create your own lubricant thanks to NSFT"
I love you guys - you all crack me up so much. Your slogans are awesome. Perhaps we should go into business.
ReplyDeleteI don't know how I missed this and didn't see this earlier. Hilarious.
ReplyDelete