When I went to my endocrinologist at four weeks and one day, he asked me to make a follow-up appointment six weeks later to recheck my thyroid hormone levels. "Congratulations," he added. "All my wishes."
His message was genuine, but my words of thanks were hollow. The hCG at that point in time was in the low range of normal, or so I'd been told. My thoughts were on our history and our past sorrow. My confidence was low. So I didn't make the appointment immediately; it would be one less thing to have to undo if need be.
The hCG doubled, again and again, we saw the sac, and I eventually found the confidence I needed to make the appointment. The receptionist passed me to the doctor. He was pleased to hear that everything was continuing to progress well. "Congratulations," he said again. I still couldn't respond with whole-hearted genuineness, but at least I didn't feel like such a fraud when I said thank you.
The appointment was today. I couldn't believe how quickly those six weeks (or rather, seven and a half if you add four days due to not-quite-perfectly-precise appointment timing, plus one more week since I had to reschedule in light of my back pain) have passed. I couldn't believe we were still in this game. I couldn't believe it might just be real.
Until we got to the substance of the meeting: my TSH level was 4.48, up from 2.34 and four times higher than the goal of 1.2, despite a massive and massively increased dose of replacement hormone. What the heck, body?
I'll now be taking an even more massive and massively increased dose, 300 micrograms, in the hopes that this will bring the TSH down to its target level and eliminate these hypothyroidism-related risks to baby, and to me, too. My other personal goal before the ultrasound on Thursday that will ideally show us a still-beating heart: try not to think about the damage that might already have been done.
Come on thyroid, do your job, you are letting the side down.
ReplyDeleteI am no expert on all things thyroid, so all I can do is send you love and thoughts, but I am crossing everything for your next ultrasound appointment.
Hang in there little one.
Thank you ... I do feel ever so let down. I thought we had everything well under control.
DeleteI wonder why pregnancy makes TSH so out of whack. Mine seemed to be normal until I got pregnant and then it started to climb. I hope the 300 mg does the trick to bring you back down to a normal level. Maybe once your HCG levels off the TSH will go down? Sending you lots of good luck on your ultrasound on Thursday!! xoxo
ReplyDeleteMine was never normal, but we got it so close to the target this summer that we thought there'd be enough cushion for the pregnancy with the increased dosage. The baby will start producing and using its own thyroid hormones towards the third trimester, so my own levels will be less important (to baby, anyway) then. But still, all that is happening now will affect it later, and that is what is scaring me. Thank you for the wishes
DeleteNaughty thyroid!! I have to admit it is something I don't understand at all but here's hoping it gets under control. Good luck for Thursday, come on baby do your mummy proud!
ReplyDeleteIf you don't need to, you don't have to! Thank you for the wishes - to be proud would be amazing.
DeleteSending many happy thyroid vibes to you! Annnd sending many many happy heartbeat vibes to you for Thursday. Can't wait to hear an update!
ReplyDeleteI've never received thyroid vibes before but will accept them gratefully, as I will the heartbeat vibes! Thank you.
DeleteThyroid, Elizabeth does not need one more thing in her body to stress about. Please settle down and get back to normal.
ReplyDeleteIt is scary but it sounds like you are being monitored which is good and hopefully the monster dose will be enough.
I'll be thinking about you on Thursday and hopeing the very best.
Thank you ... I hope it's enough too! We'll see in a few weeks. I'll pass your message along, too ;)
DeleteStupid thyroid! I can't wait to hear about your amazing appointment later this week!
ReplyDeleteYes it is, and I like your confidence. Where can I get some?
DeleteI am so sorry for the added stress of your thyroid. It is unbelievably frustrating to finally realize the dream of a baby only to have other parts of your body begin to go haywire! You just want to scream, Ok let's have everything work together for just nine (plus) months! Thinking of you and your next appointment. ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteI know - and the most disappointing is that I thought we were on track to have it all work together. Thank you for the thoughts.
DeleteI hope the new meds will get everything under control, and that Thursday yields a stronger-than-ever heartbeat! You're doing all you can to minimize risks, and it seems like you've finally got a great team around you. Will be thinking of you and awating more good news this week :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Sarah, I really hope so too and appreciate that you have the same thoughts!
DeleteI still owe you an email. I'm terrible, I know.
Man, why can't ANYTHING ever be easy? Sorry that you've got a wacky thyroid, but fingers are crossed that you can get it under control, and crossed even more (is that possible?) for a happy u/s later in the week. Stick with us, little babe!
ReplyDeleteI'll have to try myself to see if that's possible, but I certainly appreciate your efforts!
DeleteI am sorry that your thyroid is not cooperating but am glad to hear that your dr is keeping a close eye on it!! Hope the increased dosage of meds helps!! Best wishes for your u/s!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Leslie, I hope so too!
DeleteSending you, your thyroid and that baby good vibes. Arising you the best!
ReplyDeleteVibes gratefully accepted, thank you kindly!
DeleteThat was supposed to say wishing... Dang iPhone!
ReplyDeleteStick with arising ... it gave me a laugh that wishing wouldn't have.
DeleteHopefully the increased dose of meds will fix everything. The good thing is you're being monitored. Fingers crossed for a great ultrasound on Thursday!
ReplyDeleteI hope so too, and I'm so glad we're monitoring it this time around. Better to know now than later, as happened last time.
DeleteCome on thyroid, calm the f down because she is busy baking a baby right now!
ReplyDeleteCouldn't have said it better myself! Message has been passed along.
DeleteAs you know, I'm in constant battle with my thyroid (hypothroid & Hashimotos). I'm glad you went to see your endo when you did. Pregnancy increases your estrogen which then effects your TSH levels- sometimes quite dramatically. It is very important to get your TSH within range (no higher than 2.5) because the babe is relaying on you for TSH right now. At some point, it starts making TSH for itself- which then becomes less of an issue. If I were you, I would demand that you get your TSH and free T4 levels checked every few weeks. You need to know that your Synthroid is going in the direction it needs to, and how quickly. They said it usually takes 6 weeks to have a dosage effect- but watching the trend is really important. A complicated issue for sure- as you know- but one that is VERY important to monitor during early pregnancy.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right. My doctor usually does every-six-weeks appointment scheduling, but as has just been made clear, the medicine was not taking effect during that wait time because the demands were too great. I'm going back in five weeks, but on further reflection, I might change that.
DeleteI love your blog. Congratulations on your pregnancy! I just wanted to let you know that I have thyroid disease as well, and have for a very long time. Several weeks after I got pregnant, my dr. tested my TSH and it was 27! So, yours actually isn't that far out of range. Pregnancy requires a greater thyroid replacement dosage. I went from 125 micrograms to 200 in pregnancy. And then went back to 125 after the baby was born. I needed 2 increased dosages, once in the first trimester and once in the second trimester, and then things were good for the rest of my pregnancy. Hang in there!
ReplyDelete27, wow! That's insane. Mine was 8 at my last miscarriage, and I thought that was bad enough. Thanks for sharing your story - it's always interesting to learn about other people's experiences. I'm glad you ended up having a healthy pregnancy, and I hope you're happily enjoying its output now ;) Thank you too for reading along - I'm glad you're here!
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