In stark contrast to Tuesday's freak show, I had a wonderful meeting today at the fertility clinic, which fit me in very quickly. In continued stark contrast, this doctor was warm and friendly. She asked questions! Lots of them! She took notes on my answers! She gave me useful information! She set up the necessary follow-up appointments for bloodwork and ultrasounds! She was supportive and encouraging! She even said she liked my tunic!
Oh, and I think she shares my feelings about my gynecologist, whom I described as "not very receptive" to my concerns. She asked who it was; I told her. She smirked – only for a brief second, but I caught it. "Oh," she said neutrally. "Do you know her?" I asked innocently. Diplomatically, she responded: "Yes. She ... likes to give referrals for issues like this instead of treating them herself."
(And then I imagined her adding to my chart: "Patient referred to fertility clinic only because regular gynecologist can't be bothered to deal with her.")
Another thing, which I found interesting: she was curious about how I felt in Switzerland, if I had a good social network, if I had a job. Which then led to: "So what do you do all day?" Well, doctor, I could refer you to my ten-paragraph blog post on exactly what I do all day .... But I just gave the short version: nothing, kind of. And it's difficult. That I studied hard and worked hard and was good at what I did and now I feel useless. Am useless. She was kind and sympathetic, and more than at any other moment during this appointment and the last, I wanted to cry.
(And then I imagined her adding to my chart: "Patient needs gainful employment so she stops bringing imaginary 'problems' to fertility clinic.")
Despite my depraved imaginings, I walked out feeling like I had been listened to, taken seriously, and taken care of. Nice!
I also walked out feeling kind of fat. I've been steadily working my way through all of my American goodies these last two weeks, I'm a bit bloated, and I'd just guzzled a big bottle of water. So I decided to just let my stomach hang out. Even if I'm not pregnant, at least I can look like I am.
I don't suppose that's the consolation prize I should be aiming for.
Good. I am so glad you were able to see someone so soon and she seems to be getting things moving. That sounds nice and promising. I had a similar moment with my new doctor when I told him where we lived and he said 'hum, yes, we are getting a lot of referrals from there at the moment'. Suspicious, no?
ReplyDeleteIt is suspicious ... I had never thought of it before, but perhaps some doctors really are "referral mills." It's funny to me because in the US one often has to really fight to get one.
DeleteI'm so glad you had an awesome visit at the clinic. I also love when you catch Dr's glances that they don't mean to make but do when you mention where you were referred from.
ReplyDeleteI know, I wanted to press her for a bit more gossip on the gynecologist but didn't think that would be very gracious on my part!
Deleteglad you were listened to. Did you get a referral for a new doctor?
ReplyDeleteMe too! :)
DeleteThis is the one who will do the follow-up testing, and then I have a couple of referrals from friends for a new regular gynecologist. Thank goodness!
Your quote about needing gainful employment made me laugh! I'm glad you had a good experience and hope you find something productive to make yourself feel less useless (because you obviously aren't...and your blog, if nothing else at the moment, is proof of that)!
ReplyDeleteTrue! This blog - and reading others - does fill a nice little part of the day. And having a job would definitely interfere with that - so I'll appreciate that bright side of not having one.
DeleteSo glad you had someone listen and act genuinely concerned. That last part cracked me up! I have actually thought of doing that once (or twice), but the thought of having to explain 'no I'm not pregnant just chubbs' weighed out in the end, no pun intended. ;) Hope this new doc can help! xoxo
ReplyDeletePunny! Love it. And it's true that's an explanation one should never have to give!
DeleteThat is so much better. I'm glad you're rid of your OB and on to a helpful RE.
ReplyDeleteOnce, while I was waiting alone in an allergists office (having a skin test) I opened my file and read the letter she sent my PCP after my first test. It was pretty funny, and had all these details I had no idea they wrote down, including making note of how I didn't like my job and should hopefully find a new one :)
I thought I was just there to talk about my allergy to bees!
That's so funny! I can understand it in the context of fertility issues, because it affects the mental state too, but I wonder why that doctor found it relevant to the allergies?
DeleteSo did you? (Find a new job, that is!)
What a hugely different experience compared to the other day! Being human and emphatic goes a long way with us gals eh? I love that she asked about your experience thus far in Switzerland. Can't wait to hear about your upcoming appointments. I already feel like you're on to something incredible. :)
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing how important it can be just to be a nice person. Thank you for sharing your good feeling, I'll hang on to that!
DeleteI'm so glad it went really well and I' soooo glad they gave an appointment so fast!! That's truly amazing for Swiss standards! You'll see it all will start getting better
ReplyDeleteI was amazed at the quickness! I had a choice of going either that day, the day after I called, or at the end of June, so it wasn't difficult to decide. You're right, it will get better - just to get some answers will put my mind at rest.
DeleteOh, what a relief! It's amazing the difference a good doctor, who ACTUALLY LISTENS, can make. And getting in to see her so quickly--impressive. This is a positive step. A great, big positive step.
ReplyDeleteThank you, it does feel like a good, positive step. And it is amazing what a difference it makes - if only all doctors had such good bedside (stirrup-side?) manners.
DeleteLove your update! I'm so glad you got to meet somebody who is taking good care of you. I hope this will mean that more good news are just around the corner.
ReplyDeleteMe too, thank you!
DeleteYay for positive appointments! All that research is paying off! :)
ReplyDeleteThank goodness, now I can get back to Us Weekly!
DeleteThat is better! Sounds like a human with an actual capacity to care about her patients. What is next?
ReplyDeleteA human ... what a nice change! Next step is bloodwork/ultrasounds at the three different stages of the cycle. As well as an SA, just to be certain on all bases. Poor husband!
DeleteWell maybe poor husband but really..his testing won't be as bad as yours. I'm so glad you have a plan! It's good to have all the bases covered so you can have all the info upfront. Another nice change.
DeleteYes, that sounds a whole lot better. What a relief for you to hopefully getting some answers.
ReplyDeleteMuch better, thanks. It is a relief.
DeleteI'm glad you found a doctor well versed in compassion and the fine art of listening. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that happy news (fertility wise and career wise) is just around the corner for you!
ReplyDeleteIt does seem to be a fine art, certainly it's one that not all are practiced in. Thank you very much for the wishes!
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