It's a little car, perfect for the two of us, easy to park on city streets and fuel-efficient in a country where the cost of gasoline is pushing ten dollars a gallon. Perfect for the two of us, but no more than that. The backseat is basically in the trunk, fine for the occasional passenger but not ideal for a permanent companion, and it doesn't have the seatbelt latches necessary for an infant seat.
We would have been replacing it this summer, but like so many other plans, that one got scrapped too.
I suggested to Gilles that we sell it to her and replace it now anyway. He shrugged and said that it would be at least another year before we would need to do so and that we should get that use out of it ourselves.
Another year?
Quick calculation: summer break + getting lucky on the next cycle + nine months gestation = one year.
Obvious to anyone capable of doing basic mathematical equations, of course, but I hadn't yet thought about it like that. The soonest possible date we will have a baby is one year from now. One year.
Is it any wonder I threw down my book, stalked out of the living room, and crawled into bed to drench my pillow with tears?
Little wonder indeed - I think you could make a counter argument whereby it would be nice to enjoy a new car before any permanent companion spills stuff all over the upholstery, and crams every crevice with paraphernalia, not to mention crumbs!
ReplyDeleteOh hun, I hear you loud and clear. We have our app next week and then I am imagining at least a two/three month waiting list. It just seems forever away doesn't it. We have also talked about updating my little clio, but until there is a reason to do so there is very little point. I am sorry this has made you feel so hopeless.
ReplyDeleteSometimes it's the smallest things that make us realize how hard this journey really is. Enjoy your summer, and take it one step at a time from there. Thinking too far down the road is overwhelming.
ReplyDeleteThese yearly marks are so hard and it does sound so far away. I hope at least you will be pregnant for a good part of the coming year! xx
ReplyDeleteOhhhh no. I am so sorry. :( I try not to think about the months and years ahead anymore because it is too depressing for me. Just not where I pictured I would be. I used to do that all the time and I would feel like I couldn't breathe because I was so upset. I try to take one day at a time now, but as you know, that is so much easier said than done. Hugs to you!
ReplyDeleteDarn the nine month gestation. It gets us every time! At least once you get to that point it will feel like some major progress. I find myself focusing on the timing of things all the time. "What are you doing for Christmas this year?" "Well I might be __ months pregnant" It's awful.
ReplyDeleteStupid math. :(
ReplyDeleteI've been so reluctant to skip any cycle at this point because of that math. It is like a sword straight to the heart. It is awful.
ReplyDeleteIt's best to only think in weeks and months. It's way too depressing to think in years. Once you get pregnant again the 9 months won't seem so bad...hopefully.
ReplyDeleteI've always disliked math and now I know why. It appears that my younger self had an inkling that I would one day be a slave to cycle days, appointment dates and gestational periods. It IS very frustrating to watch all this time slip by. I sincerely hope that you will be pregnant for most of the following year so that next year at this time you may hold your little one in your arms.
ReplyDeleteI've always liked math and numbers. But they def don't go well with waiting for a pregnancy or a baby. ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteI hate math. But at least you'll be pregnant for the better part of that year. Think of that.
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