I woke up in a panic in the middle of the night and immediately started crying. "What is it? What is it?" Gilles asked, instantly awake himself. "What if we can never have a child?" I wailed into my pillow. He sighed, not impatiently. "We're not at that point yet. Come here." And he pulled me close to him and went back to sleep while my tears continued to stream down my face and onto his chest until finally I too dropped back into oblivion.
I was hoping a lot - we both were - but I don't think this will be it.
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What a poignant description. Beautifully sad. I really hope you were beautifully sad for no reason, dear Elizabeth! I'm hopeful for you!
ReplyDeleteElizabeth, just reading that took me back to the nights when I have felt exactly that, and cried into Kitt's chest. It is in those dark night time hours that it really feels like those thoughts could be true. I hope you woke the next morning to sunshine, springtime and more positive thoughts. You and I are right at the beginning of things. I have so much hope for us both.
ReplyDeleteso sad.....I'm sorry you feel this way.
ReplyDeletehugs
It is hard, hard, hard. I remember each month and I remember when I lost mine. So much hope and fear and disappointment and loss and even more hope all intertwined.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your personal reflections and your sweet wishes, which touched me a lot. Even though we know now that this month is well and truly not it, I will keep your thoughts with me as we move forward.
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